Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hackel opts for the musical stylings of smooth jazz

The duly elected county executive is tasked with making plenty of calls on behalf of his constituents.
And he apparently takes this very seriously.
Leaving no decision-making stone unturned, Mark Hackel, who is still setting his administrative course in its first year of operation, took the time to decide what you'll listen to.
Jako van Blerk, project manager for Macomb County's Information Technology division, emailed employees a memo this week "per the executive office" informing them the county government’s telephone hold music would switch that night from classical to smooth rock.
Are you going to take this lying down, Macomb County? Kenny G on your time? 
The Insider worried it was noise pollution in the name of calming savage phone beasts.
Hmpf. We had to investigate further.
The Insider went undercover Friday afternoon, calling the county under the guise of journalism to sample the new sound.
What we heard was a funky guitar riff with a good beat. And honestly, it wasn't so bad. For some reason, the wait for a bureaucratic "no comment" from some office or another didn’t seem as frustrating. 
By the time The Insider's call met its intended recipient, his ire had calmed substantially. Well played, sir. Well played.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

NY Daily News: Man in 'surprisingly good spirits' after wife removes penis

This is the kind of story The Insider generally wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. But the follow-up from the New York Daily News warrants attention.
It's one thing to lose one's nether regions to the vengeful knife of an ex-lover whilst drugged.
But to be cheery about it afterwards? Now, that's a story.
Here's the intro. Read the story in its entirety here.

LOS ANGELES - The husband whose wife allegedly cut off his penis and put it a garbage disposal was in "surprisingly good spirits" following surgery and claims he wasn't having an affair, a police source told the Daily News.
"Two veteran detectives interviewed him yesterday and were surprised at his demeanor. They said he was able to answer questions and was in surprisingly good spirits considering everything he's gone through," Lt. Jeff Nightengale of the Garden Grove Police Department said.
The unnamed 51-year-old victim was listed in "good" condition at the UC Irvine Medical Center late yesterday, a hospital spokesman said.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Grammar mistake leads to inadvertent hilarity

A Rochester Hills construction company may want to look into a copy editor for whomever it has writing edicts -- after one posting lead to inadvertent hilarity for the Insider.
A letter posted at more than 400 units at Colony Condominiums in Clinton Township, near Macomb Community College’s Center Campus by Butcher & Baecker Construction, warned people to stop dumping regular garbage into huge bins designated for old shingles and other recyclable material.
Those poor authority figures probably had no idea they were to be disposed of.
The misstatement was laughingly pointed out by Macomb Daily reader and Colony resident Will Kenward.
“I thought you might find a reason to smile” at the gaffe, he wrote.
We did.
Now we're off to grab a dolly and track down some of those personnel for disposal.